Blood, Barf, and Lasers...F-YEA!!

For ze ultimate arteest, check out these super-awesome Moleskine notebooks from nowvember featured on Etsy.com!

Which one of these adorable kittehs best describe your pet's alter-ego? Is is A) Eyeball-Laser-Shooting Kitty (pretends to love you...until you forget to feed him one morning before you leave for work, and upon your return he attacks you at the door and burns holes through your soul) , B) Projectile-Vomitting-Rainbow Kitty (um, taste the rainbow?), or C) Blood-Sucking-New-Moon-Team-Edward-Heartthrob Kitty ('Bella...they call her my Singer, because her blood sings for me')?

GAHHHHH! I want one!

'Cats on Mars' by Ron Evans

After years of wracking my brain, I am glad that someone finally has a plausible theory regarding the existance of cats. Amateur filmmaker/musician/fellow-cat-enthusiast Ron Evans delivers an interesting take on the matter with this haunting original ditty. It seems logical, and would explain why cats spend most of their time doing absolutely nothing.

They're waiting for the call of duty.

But the question remains: Why are cats needed on Mars? A few possibilities come to mind. Maybe Mars is experiencing rodent infestation? Or more probable, there is an alien breed of felines that have been breeding the planet for ions, and the only way to save the entire galaxy from their fatal, un-earthly strain of cat-allergen is to send reinforcements to procreate with the aliens and weaken the strain in future feline generations. I vote for the latter.

Whatever the reason, it's comforting to think that cats were not put on this earth just to torture me.

Check out more of Ron's original music on iTunes under "The Bloody Oranges". The rest of his stuff is non cat-related, but definitely worth checking out ;)

Why do you think cats are needed on Mars?

Guest Blogger: Grandpa Cat

I suppose I'm different. How many us care about humans one way or the other? Sure, they're good for a meal, usually provide a warm spot to curl up in, but other than that, what purpose do they have? That's pretty much how I felt about them back when I was a kitten. But then, when I was looking for a research project as a graduate student at Pussycat U (go Neanderthals) I chose humans. No one else was interested and I figured I had a better shot at a good grade since I wouldn't have any competition. I sometimes wish I would have pursued bird populations in suburbia or rodent habitat, but I went down the homo sapiens road and, well, it is what it is.

Not that my studies haven't been rewarding if, for anything else, the pure humor inherent in human behavior. I mean, what kind of creature rubs paper on their heinies? Do they think they are adequately cleaning themselves? What the hell do humans think tongues are for? Go figure. One of nature's greatest mysteries, I guess.

Any kitty thinking about entering the field of humanology must refrain from the classic mistake: Don't try to felinepomorhize people. Whatever thoughts spring into fat-infused human brains, you can bet those ideas aren't anything like normal thinking. Take a person staring out a window for long periods of time. You think: I do that. He must be looking for prey. Wrong. I've never seen a human yet go after a mouse or a bird. They might run after a dog with a broom, but they don't try to catch them. If they do accidentally get a hold of one, do you think they bite the back of their necks and shake 'em dead? Nope. Hell no. They're wayyy more likely to go back and pick up the dog's poop in a plastic bag. WTF? Never been a cat that would do ANYTHING with a pile of dog crap, but people collect it. I don't know what they do with it, and I don't want to know.

Anyway, I'm working on a paper: Catnip and People: Symbiotic, Interspecies Drug Trafficking or Stupid Humans Forgetting they put their Stash in a Fake Mouse. I'll report, you decide. That's all for now. I will take questions on human behavior, but don't ask me why people hold up a big rattlely paper at breakfast, indicating they want to play, then push you off the table when you take them up on their offer. No kitty knows the answer to that.

-Translated from incessant 'Meowing' into 'Plain 'Ol English' by

Keith B. Ellis, Grandpa Cat resides in Everett, WA and spends much of his days sleeping, pooping, and writing. The cat, not Keith.

Actually, Keith too.

Do you know a cat that would like to be featured as a guest blogger? Email his/her entry, along with a brief cat bio and photo, to sissy-may@hotmail.com

All entries are subject to editing.

And the Kitten Says...

I confess – I have watched this video 57 gazillion times and I still cannot control my giggling!

How much fun would it be to sit in the food court at a shopping mall with this girl, and have her interpret people's conversations at the other tables? This is Grade 'A' Awesomeness. Rawr!

When Cats Wig Out

You have noticed lately your Female Feline Friend (FFF) is looking a little down. Maybe she feels weary of her same, boring, generic 'cat' look day after day after day, and could really use a little something that makes her feel sexy. flirty. desirable.

Julie Jackson and her feline accomplise, Boone, joined forces to create a line of wigs exclusively for cats. Seriously?? How completely bizarre. Yet, I had to run out and purchase their book immediately and give it to my Dad for Christmas. The photos and corresponding captions are freaking adorable.

To learn more, pounce here

Behold! A Flea Market Treasure.

I recently discovered this little beauty at the Freemont Flea Market. Only four bucks! I haven't figured out how to hang it yet, but it's basically a small set of...cat hooks? Made out of a semi-heavy steel or bronze, it seemed like a diamond in the rough. Who wouldn't want to hang their precious necklaces off these awkwardly protruding kitteh arms?

The Freemont Flea Market in Seattle is held every Sunday, all year round! So fun. Purr-wurthy indeed.

Did Somebody Say 'Cat Blog'?

My Grandma's cat, Tommy, and Myself, circa 1987

Allow myself to introduce...myself? I am Emily.

But I digress.

I suppose most of you are wondering: What is a cat anyway? This blog may be difficult to follow without a basic understanding. Before you read on, click here. Why start a blog about cats? Well that is a damn good question; I don't even know where this obsession of the felinekind first took hold. The last time I touched a cat – actually held a cat in my arms – I was probably 2 years old. At that point asthma reared it's ugly head, and it was decided that, maybe rolling around on the floor all day with a cat might not be such a good idea anymore.

Soo. I have spent that last 20-odd years of my life being programmed to stay away. 'Do you have cats?' is probably one of my top ten most common questions of all time. I missed many a gatherings, many a parties, and many a sleepovers, because even being in a room where a cat may have been in the past 5 years might still make me wheezy. And it almost always did.

Although being allergic to cats put me through many hurdles, I have always loved kittehs from a distance. and I have a constant fascination with all things cat-related. Perhaps if they weren't a forbidden fruit so-to-speak, I may otherwise have taken kittehs for granted?

They make me happy. they make me laugh. They're so freakin' weird! I am forever a fan.

I have a few cat buddies that will be guest bloggers from time to time, and I will showcase the products, photos, websites, etc. that I have come across that have made me smile or inspired me in some way. I hope you enjoy.

Many Meows of Gratitude,

Emily